You lead your team and you determine who is playing at any given point in time by who you invite and to who you listen. God created you and you do come from good stock.
You also live in an imperfect world with lots of distractions that can take your focus from your creator and the ones who love you. The struggle of life is not something to be ignored and all the successes that you have had are worthy of celebration.
There are highs and lows in the human circumstance and it all can be quite confusing intellectually. Of course, the longer after creation you are born then the more stories are out there that can make it even harder to know what to believe.
Intellectuals can seem to go crazy just trying to figure out the absoluteness of truth but we each have our guides who can help if we ask. There is a constant of truth that you can find if you persist in asking for it.
When you feel that you know what truth is, confirm it for yourself. I will share some perspectives for you to consider but I do encourage you to ask about the truth of all I write as it pertains to you so that you get the direction you really need from the highest and most clear source possible.
One thing I find helpful is Dowsing, a spiritual direction finding technique. You can learn more about dowsing and get a free e-book at http://LetterToRobin.org. The technique helps one to ask and hear God and it is a skill that can be polished.